


The Course of True Love Never Did Run Smooth

by oharasbrian



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-21
Updated: 2016-01-06
Packaged: 2018-05-05 13:17:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5376632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oharasbrian/pseuds/oharasbrian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Collection of O'Press one-shots inspired by various songs</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Good Directions

**Author's Note:**

> Good Directions- Billy Currington

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Collection of O'Press one-shots inspired by various songs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good Directions- Billy Currington

     Considering this was Kelley's last year in Peach Tree City before she headed off to Stanford and pursued her soccer career, she did not want to spend her summer babysitting the Maxwell boys. Her mom had volunteered her for the job before she even had time to react. 

 

     So, as Kelley got into her car and made her way to the Maxwell household, she soon began to regret her mother's quick and rather hasty suggestions. 

* * *

 

     The day seemed to drag on. Tommy and Mason had different ideas of fun than Kelley. While she wanted to relax and watch some movies with the boys, they wanted to play with every toy that they owned. Kelley had never seen so many Legos and Nerf guns in her life. Sure, she had her own younger brother at home, but he was never this rowdy. She and Jerry had always had a rather calm relationship. They fought from time to time just as any siblings do, but he never acted as crazy as these two boys were. 

 

     Once lunch time rolled around, Kelley had had enough. She needed some fresh air and thought that the boys could use some too. 

 

     "Mason, can you please put your shoes on?'' She asked pleadingly. 

 

     "I don't know, can I?" Mason replied with a smirk. 

 

     "Mase, that doesn't even make sense," Kelley began to get annoyed. "Just put your shoes on and we'll go get something to eat. Why can't you just listen like your brother?" 

 

     With that, Tommy gave Kelley a toothy grin. "Yeah,  _I_ actually listen. That's why Kelley likes  _me better._ Right, Kelley?"

 

     Although Kelley couldn't admit it to their faces, she did like him better. Both boys were complete troublemakers but if she had to pick a favorite, it would without a doubt be Tommy. At times, he could be a pain in the ass but if he saw how obnoxious he and his brother were being, he'd dial it down just to give Kelley a piece of mind. So, rather than agree or disagree, she made a slight dismissive sound in the back of her throat. 

 

     Three tantrums, two pairs of shoes, and one spilled Gatorade later, Kelley and the boys were off to Chick Fil A for what she hoped to be a quick and painless errand.

* * *

 

_She was lost and lookin' for the interstate_

_Needin' directions and I was the man for the job_

 

While at Chick Fil A, Kelley had made the monumental mistake of allowing the boys to get milkshakes. Instead of having a pair of six-year-olds ready for nap time, she had two kids who seemed an awful lot like the spawns of Satan at the moment. They both were riding their sugar high and Kelley could only pray that they would come crashing down soon. 

 

     With some quick thinking, Kelley kept the boys outside with the hopes of them running out of energy. She had just begun setting up a soccer net for them when an unfamiliar car pulled up to the curb. She squinted her eyes and read that they had Los Angeles license plates. 

 

     Kelley was just about to shoo the boys inside because of "stranger danger" until she saw the beautiful girl exit the car. She had olive skin with gorgeous green eyes. She began to walk up the driveway and any previous thought that Kelley had suddenly slipped her mind. 

 

     "Hi. I was on my way to the Peach Tree City Dog Park, and I think I took a wrong turn," the girl let out a nervous laugh. "Do you know how to get back to I-75? Once I make it back there, I should have a pretty good idea of where I'm going." 

 

     Kelley had no idea what to say. She knew how to get to the dog park with her eyes closed, but she had lost all train of thought. Her voice caught in her throat. "Um, I- actually, yeah. I can help you out." 

 

     "Thank you! You have no idea how much you're helping me out!" Her voice was so soft and soothing; it put Kelley at ease. 

 

     "So, if you make a right onto the main road and go for about four or five blocks, you'll come to a stoplight. The light has been stuck on yellow for who knows how many years. Don't be fooled by it. When I first got my license, I waited almost ten minutes for that light to change. People passing through town always seem to get tripped up by it." 

 

     "Thanks for the heads up. To be honest with you, I would've been the one who sat at the light for years," she laughed again and at that moment, Kelley knew that she only had one goal from here on out. It would be to ensure that she is the one to make this girl laugh loudly every day. 

 

     "Once you get to that light, you'll see a little pizza parlor on the corner. You  _have_ to stop in there. There'll be this big, Italian man behind the counter. His name is Mr. Marino; ask him for half a dozen garlic knots. My entire family swears by them." 

 

     "I might just have to try these life-changing garlic knots for myself. Alright, so where do I go after that little pit stop?"

 

     "You'll want to get back onto that main road and follow it until you get to the next crossroad," Just then, Kelley felt uncharacteristically confident and let her urge get the best of her. "When you get to that intersection, you can either go left or right. If you make a left, it'll take you right to I-75 nice and easy. But if you make the right, it'll take you through a roundabout and you'll end up right back here, with me and my boys." 

 

     "I'll consider it. Maybe if those garlic knots are half as good as you say they are, I'll come back soon for a visit. Well, I've got to get going. Thanks again for the directions!" 

 

     "Yeah, no problem. I'll see you around."

 

     And with that, Kelley's dream girl was in her car and driving away as quickly as she had gotten here. 

* * *

 

_I was sittin' there thinkin' 'bout her pretty face_

_Kickin' myself for not catchin' her name_

 

As soon as Kelley got inside, her mind had registered what had happened. She had let possibly the most gorgeous girl she had ever seen. She was given the perfect opportunity to seize the moment, yet she was oblivious to it at the time. 

 

     "Kelley, who was that?" Mason asked while the three of them were watching the Eagles vs. Falcons game. 

 

     "I would like to know that too." 

 

     Tommy said what Kelley had been thinking all along. "She was really pretty. Kind of like Pocahontas." 

 

     "Yeah, well, too late now. She seemed in a rush anyways." 

* * *

 

 

_Is this Georgia heat playin' tricks on me_

_Or am I really seein' what I think I see_

_The woman of my dreams comin' back to me_

 

     Once the boys settled down for their naps, Kelley was able to think more clearly. 

 

     She had just been approached by possibly the most attractive girl who's ever made her way into Peach Tree City. She had gotten too confident and said some utterly stupid things. She had allowed this girl to swiftly exit her life.  _  
_

 

     Kelley's thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. When she revealed who was on the other side, she had to do a double-take. The girl who had consumed all of her thinking for the past few hours was now standing face to face with her. 

 

     "So," the girl began. "We haven't formally met. I'm Christen."

 

     "Kelley."

 

     "Well, Kelley. You're probably wondering why I came back. And frankly, I'm kind of wondering that myself. By the way, I made sure to follow your directions to a tee."

 

     "Oh yeah?"

 

     "Yep. Anyways, I took your advice and stopped at that pizza shop. And might I say, you were right. Those garlic knots were just about the best thing I've ever eaten. But while I was there, I started thinking about this town. I grew up in Los Angeles and these types of small towns aren't something I'm used to. Then, I started thinking about you. About how this girl, who doesn't look much older than me, should be planning on going off to college yet, she's spending her summer babysitting two boys and giving directions to strangers. Why'd you do it? You could've given me the quick and easy directions, but instead, you showed me something local  _and_ gave me the option of coming back. Why?" 

 

     Kelley looked at Christen with an expression that could only be described as pure joy. "There's no rhyme or reason. I just thank God for good directions."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the deal, I've decided to give this writing thing a try.  
> I am hopelessly in love with my unproblematic fav Christen and no matter how much Kelley self-drags, I can't help but love her. I also love their college days when they were so smol.  
> Anyways, I've had this idea in my head for a while and figured I'd give it a whirl.  
> Comment any song ideas and I may be making a tumblr soon idk.  
> But I hope you enjoy and let me live if it absolutely sucks. :))))


	2. December

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Collection of O'Press one-shots inspired by various songs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> December- Neck Deep

_Stumbled around the block a thousand times_

_You missed every call that I had tried_

_So now I'm giving up_

_A heartbreak in mid-December_

 

     "Hi! This is Christen, I can't get to the phone right now so leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible!" 

 

     "Chris," Kelley slurred out, "I- I miss you. I need you. Please pick up. I just wanna talk. Call me back when y- if you get this. I'll see you in Hawaii."

 

     With that, Kelley hit end call. She's tried countless times to reach out to Christen. She had made so many mistakes with their relationship since college and Christen always found a reason to forgive her. 

 

     But this time, it was different. 

 

     Christen didn't accept Kelley with open arms. 

 

     She didn't listen to the half-assed excuses that Kelley gave her. 

 

     But most noticeably, she didn't return Kelley's calls. 

* * *

 

_I was looking out our window_

_Watching all the cars go_

_Wondering if I'll ever see Chicago_

_Or a sunset on the West Coast_

 

     As the National Team arrived in Hawaii, Kelley was delighted to see so many familiar faces. Yet when she saw Christen's face, she wasn't quite as delighted. The team filed into the dining hall. The two did their best to avert each other's eyes. Kelley took her usual spot next to Alex and Tobin while Christen stuck relatively close to Morgan and Julie's side. 

 

     Everyone began to file out and with the perfect timing of fate, Kelley, Morgan, and Christen all were in the elevator together. 

 

     Kelley was thanking God that Morgan was her roommate, because if it were anyone else, she'd be stuck in the elevator alone with Christen.

 

     Morgan cleared her throat. "So, it kinda sucks that the game got canceled. I mean, it's good that we're finally sticking up for our playing rights and all, but I would've loved to have played in Hawaii, ya know?" 

 

     Christen's eyes hardened. "I know what you mean. The league is  _constantly_ putting our priorities under the men's team and their own. It's hard to keep relying on them when they keep disregarding our opinions."

 

     Kelley was quick to pick up on what Christen was implying. "But you guys have to admit that the whole organization has us pretty well off. Without it, we wouldn't have our careers. Sure, they have prioritized us over the men, but we'll get there. And I think that they have rehashed things. Time is the only variable." 

 

     "Kell," Christen replied slowly. "Don't you think that they would've righted their wrongs if it really meant  _that_ much to them? Think about it. It's right there in front of you." 

 

     Kelley hesitated for a moment, almost faltering. But after a brief pause, she righted herself and spoke smoothly. "They do care. They have strange ways of showing it, but they do. They'll come around. It's human nature. Mistakes are bound to be made, but those who really care about a cause will do whatever is needed to fix the situation." With that, the elevator button rang. "Come on Moe, this is our floor."

* * *

 

_I miss your face_

_You're in my head_

_There's so many things that I should have said_

_A year of suffering, a lesson learned_

 

Kelley and Morgan were rooming together for this leg of the victory tour and Morgan had her hands full to say the least. 

 

     "Morgan, I messed up. Like really, really messed up. She's never been mad for this long. I'm going to lose my best friend. Oh my God. I fucked it all up. What am I going t-"

 

     "Kell, I love you, but just shut up. Calm down for just two seconds. Are you good?"

 

     "Yeah," Kelley took a deep breath. "Yeah, I'm fine." 

 

     "Alright, listen to me. You and Christen have been each other's number one supporter since college. I've seen the way she looks at you when you aren't paying attention. She looks at you like you're her world, and you are. I haven't seen her look at anyone else like she does you. I've talked to her over these past couple weeks. She isn't done. When I helped you out at your soccer camp, she called me right after. She wanted to know how you were doing, if you were taking care of yourself. No matter what, she's going to pick you. I agree, you did fuck it up. But she can't help herself. She loves you. I hope you've learned your lesson. One of these times she isn;t going to let you come back." 

 

     "But I've left her a million messages. She won't answer any of my calls. She would always answer no matter when I called."

 

     "Has it ever occurred to you that she needs some space?"

 

     "I don't know, Morgan. I think she's really done this time."

 

     Morgan let out an almost inaudible sigh. "Honestly, I don't know what else to tell you. Maybe it's for the best."  She stood up from the edge of her bed and slowly walked over to Kelley. She gave her a soft pat on the back. "Well, I have coffee plans with Danny and Emily. I'll be back later if you still want to talk." 

 

     The corners of Kelley's mouth slightly turned upward. "Thanks, Moe. I needed this." 

 

     Before she closed the door behind her, Morgan gave Kelley an apologetic look. "You'll figure it out, Kell. These kinds of things always have a funny way of straightening themselves out." 

* * *

 

_I hope you get your ballroom floor_

_Your perfect house with rose red doors_

 

    As the Victory Tour drew to a close, Christen ended on top. With scoring four goals in two games, she was feeling an intoxicating surge of confidence. Yet when she came face to face with Kelley in the hotel lobby in New Orleans, she quickly sobered up. 

 

     "Press, listen. I'm not here to try and fix anything. That's long overdue. I just wanted to say congrats on these last few games. You really gave it your all. I'm proud of you. Julie was telling me that you've been pretty hard on yourself. I'm glad that you've got it back." Kelley let out a small laugh. "It almost was like Déjà vu. Seeing you like that reminded me of our college days." 

 

     "Thanks, Kell. But honestly, who are you trying to kid? I mean, don't get me wrong, I love hearing that, especially from you. But to be fair, would you be standing here right now if I hadn't gotten upset with you a few weeks ago? Would you  _really_ be so concerned about my self-esteem if things hadn't ended like they did?" 

 

     Kelley looked around cautiously before she continued. "Oh, please. We both know that's a bunch of bullshit." 

 

     That comment took Christen by surprise. "Excuse me?" 

 

     "You heard me. That's such bullshit. I'll always care about you. I don't care if we never speak again; I'll never stop caring. And just because I fucked up doesn't give you  _any_ right to assume how I feel." Christen could hear the anger in Kelley's voice. "I fucked up. Big time. I recognize that. But you were it for me, Chris. I want to do life with you. I don't care if I don't see another gold medal or World Cup trophy in my lifetime. You're my prize, Press. And God only knows what'll happen. I just want what's best for you." At this point, Kelley's voice had softened. "I know you want to travel the world and make a difference, and I hope you find someone who will go on that journey with you. I hope you get those three kids that you've always dreamed about. Just find someone who will go on this adventure with you, okay? I'm not saying it has to be me or anyone in particular; hell, it could be the cashier from In-N-Out. I just want you to make your life worth while." 

 

     Christen had been mentally preparing herself for weeks on what she'd do if she had to face Kelley. But everything she had planned on saying, had been overcome by her indecisive feelings for Kelley. "Oh my goodness. Kell, I just- I need some time." 

 

     "I get it. Trust me, I do. But I have one question. And I want you to be completely honest with me. I don't care what your answer is, okay?"

 

     "Yeah, sure. It's not like this could get any more awkward."

 

     "Alright. I called you like a million times. And you never picked up. Not once. Why? I know I screwed up, but I would've at least like the have been told off, rather than not hear anything at all." 

 

     Christen sighed and looked at the ceiling. "I just knew that if I heard your voice, even if it was just for a second. I'd melt. I wanted to stay mad at you. I wanted to have my space to think. And if I would've accepted one of your calls, I would've fallen right back. I knew that I would've seen you at camps, but I figured I would face that when it happened. I still need more time. Listen, I've got to catch a flight to L.A. Have a nice Christmas, Kelley." 

 

     As Christen reached the front doors of the hotel, Kelley yelled out, "You know, I'm still going to call you. This isn't over. You'll have to pick up sooner or later." 

 

     Christen slowly turned around and called back, "I don't think I can pick up anytime soon, O'Hara. We'll both move on." 

 

     Watching Christen leave, Kelley mumbled to herself, "Speak for yourself." 

* * *

 

_I'm the last thing you'd remember_

_It's been a long lonely December_

 

    Every day since Kelley watched Christen walk out of those hotel doors, she had called her every day; and she had been ignored every day. 

 

     Considering she no longer had a significant other to celebrate the holidays with, Kelley made her way down to Georgia to spend Christmas with her family. While everyone was cleaning up the dinner table, Erin pulled her aside. 

 

     "Mom caught me up on the whole Christen thing and might I say, you really did it this time." 

 

     "Gee thanks, Erin. You really know how to make a gal feel welcome, don't you?"

 

     "You didn't let me finish. I think you need to take the reigns. This is all on you. We all saw how happy Christen made you. I don't want to see you lose that. I think you need to figure this out, Kell." 

 

     Although she didn't want to admit it, Kelley knew that her older sister was right. With that, she excused herself and stepped outside onto the front porch.

 

     As she punched the digits into her phone, the pattern was all too familiar. She had dialed this number one too many times. 

 

     After the third ring, Kelley grew impatient. She knew that this time wouldn't be any different than the others. The fifth ring was just about to begin when she heard a click and muffled noises on the other end. 

 

     "Hello?"

 

     Kelley was almost in too much shock to piece together a sentence. "H- hey. Um, Merry Christmas."

 

     "Thanks, Kelley. You too."

 

     "Christen?"

 

     "Yeah?"

 

     "You're not fucking with me, right?"

 

     Christen allowed herself to let out a genuine laugh. "No, no."

 

     "They why'd you finally decide to pick up?"

 

     Christen sighed. It wasn't a depressing or tired sort of sigh. It was merely an indicator that she had realized what she should have seen all along. "Can I be honest with you?" 

 

     "Yeah, totally. Of course." 

 

     "I picked up because I realized that I should be hearing your voice instead of avoiding it. I spent so much time trying to figure out why I shouldn't go back to you yet, all I could come up with were reasons why I should. I talked to Morgan the day after we left New Orleans. She told me what you guys talked about." 

 

     "Oh, God. I don't know what she told you but if sh-"

 

     "Kelley, just shut up for ten seconds. I miss you. I want to hear your voice again. I'm ready to fall for you."

 


	3. Let It Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Collection of O'Press one-shots inspired by various songs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let It Go- James Bay

_From walking home and talking loads_

_To seeing shows in evening clothes with you_

_From nervous and getting drunk_

_To staying up and waking up with you_

 

    Christen and Kelley had quite a cliché love story, to say the least. They had met in college and quickly bonded over their love of soccer. In 2007, Christen was a freshman and Kelley was a sophomore. The two had first started as teammates who only spoke at practices or exchanged quick hello's while passing each other on campus. Before pre-season of their first year together, their friendship had soon escalated. Christen began walking Kelley back to her dorm and she'd inevitably be invited in to watch a movie and the pair would end up talking for hours on end. 

 

     Kelley had been assigned Christen as her 'little sister' for the soccer team. Most of the big sister/little sister pairings only associated with each other when necessary. They'd exchange gifts when told, hang out when instructed, and then lose touch over summer break. Christen and Kelley were different, though. They took every opportunity they were given to deepen their relationship.

 

     The two drove three hours to Fresno just to see The Beyoncé Experience. Just as any college student would do, they took advantage of her freedom and had a little too much to drink. When the show was over, Christen knew that she and Kelley were both in no shape to drive all the way back to campus. Rather than try to find a hotel or anywhere to stop, they decided to just stay in the parking lot of the Save Mart Center. Christen folded down the seats of her Jeep and used a collection of sweatshirts and stadium blankets as a makeshift bed. 

 

     "Kelley, come on. Just get in the car. It's late and we're going to have to drive back tomorrow. We have a 3:00 practice, you know." 

 

     "Oh please, Pressy. Skipping one practice won't kill you," Kelley slurred out. 

 

     "You and I both know that it will. Now, get in the car and just go to sleep." Christen looked at her with pleading eyes. 

 

     Kelley let out an exasperating sigh. "Fine, but only because you look so good in that dress. You know, if looks could kill, a lot of lives would have been lost today." With that, she crawled into the car leaving behind a slightly confused and speechless Christen. Not wanting to over think anything, she chalked it up to Kelley being a little too tipsy to comprehend what she was actually saying. 

 

     All through the night, though, Christen had been kept up by Kelley's comment. She never had any intention of going to college and throwing herself into a relationship. She wanted to focus on her soccer career rather than be distracted. Yet, Kelley seemed to be a bittersweet distraction. Since she too was aiming for the same goal, her presence was never a burden to Christen. They were able to challenge each other while simultaneously continuing their complicated friendship.

 

     Christen's thoughts were interrupted when Kelley absentmindedly threw an arm around her waist. Christen laid there for the rest of the night and well into the morning, not taking a breath and doing her very best not to move a muscle. 

 

     Most people claim that one cannot recognize an exact moment when they were to fall in love. But when Kelley unconsciously wrapped herself around her body while they camped out in a car in the Save Mart Center parking lot, Christen knew. She knew that Kelley was the one that she wanted to spend her life with. She knew that while her future was often foggy and confusing, Kelley was always clear as day. She knew that this simple trip to a concert would be the beginning of forever with her and Kelley. 

 

     She had fallen in love. And she knew. 

* * *

 

_Now we're sleeping near the edge_

_Holding something we don't need_

_Oh, this delusion in our heads_

_Is gonna bring us to our knees_

 

     The years after college took a toll on Kelley and Christen's relationship. When Kelley graduated in 2009, she immediately wanted to go out and find the next step in her career. She played for Pali Blues and still traveled with the Youth National Team. But with Christen still at Stanford, the two rarely had as much time together as they would've liked.

 

     The WPS league was practically a blink in both of their careers. With the league folding just after two seasons in 2012, Christen's time at magicJack and Kelley's with FC Gold Pride and the Boston Breakers was cut short. They each moved on, of course. Christen found her own haven with Tyresö and Kelley had bounced back after the creation of the NWSL. The two stayed in touch. They promised each other that they'd make a long-distance relationship work. 

 

     Time had passed, and the seasons changed but it seemed as if Kelley and Christen's had stood still. When Christen was added to the Red Stars' roster in 2014, neither woman was excited as one would have thought. Their relationship was falling apart; they both knew that. But Christen nor Kelley had the guts to come outright and say it. When they would Skype or see each other, they acted like it was no big deal. Their teammates only saw two girls who were just as in love as they were in college.

 

     Their hearts were breaking and the pain only grew stronger with each call, text, or video chat. So rather than face the problem at hand, they had gradually and wordlessly tried to solve the problem by shortening their talks and returning each others texts hours later. 

 

     Neither woman viewed it as the two of them falling out of love. There is no such thing as falling out of love. There's no epiphany where you suddenly realize that your heart no longer yearns for the other. You can bury your feelings and pretend like the flames of passion don't exist and frankly, forget about the past. But ultimately, there was a reason why you fell in love in the first place. It was simply the distance that compromised the relationship. While Christen was in Sweden, Kelley often found herself caught up in a moment where all of the sudden, the miles between her and her girlfriend really got to her. She would break down and eventually end up wishing that Christen was just as close as she was when they were at Stanford. It was as if they had a long distance relationship without the relationship. They both knew they were in love. True love, even. But that's the thing about love. Love means that you care for another person's happiness more than your own, no matter how painful the choices you make may be. 

 

     Christen constantly caught herself daydreaming about how things could've ended up differently between her and Kelley. Her relationship was on thin ice. And she knew. 

* * *

 

 

_From throwing clothes across the floor_

_To teeth and claws and slamming doors at you_

_If this is all we're living for_

_Why are we doing it, doing it, anymore?_

 

     Christen had taken a trip to New Jersey to see Kelley while the Red Stars had a bye week. The World Cup was a whirlwind for each of them, but they both were more than happy to be back with their club teams and take it easy before the Victory Tour started. 

 

     It was midnight on a rainy Tuesday. Kelley hated Tuesdays. She always thought that they were worse than Mondays. She had always said that Tuesday means we're one day closer to a weekend spent dreading Monday. But little did she know, she would soon enough have another reason to hate Tuesdays. 

 

     She and Christen were on opposite sides of the bed but it seemed as if they were an entire world away. They were both awake but no one could bear to break the silence. That's the thing about silence: it speaks a thousand words. But this silence was different. It was like everything that they were too afraid to say was suddenly lingering in the darkness. Kelley couldn't take it anymore. She had to break the deafening silence. 

 

     "Chris? Are you awake?"

 

     Christen rolled onto her side so she could face her. "Yeah. I can't sleep."

 

     "Me neither. I think it's the rain."

 

     "Are you sure it's not because it's a  _Tuesday_?" 

 

     "Alright, maybe that's part of the reason." 

 

     Christen let out a stifled chuckle and there it was again; silence. 

 

     "So," Kelley cleared her throat. "My mom called the other day." 

 

     "Really? How's she doing?" 

 

     "She's good. The whole family's good." Kelley's voice lowered. "She asked about you."

 

     Even though the room was dark, Kelley could feel Christen's body stiffen. "Did she? What'd she say?"

 

     "She just wanted to see how you were doing. She asked about how you liked Chicago. I told her that you seem pretty happy there. It's a lot nicer to only have you 800 miles away instead of 4,000. It seems like we talked more when you were in Sweden, though. There was more effort there." 

 

     This comment caught Christen off guard. "Are you saying I'm not putting in any effort? Because I think flying from Chicago to North Jersey just for a weekend trip seems like plenty of effort." 

 

     "I know, I know. It's just that when I graduated and you went to Europe, we stopped being  _us_. We were partners in crime and now it takes hours for us to text back. I think we both stopped caring when you left. That's all I'm saying."

 

     "Kell, you've got to be kidding me." Christen began to raise her voice. "Going to Sweden was just about the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I had to get so used to not seeing you every day. I had to learn how to cope and be just fine without you. I would go out and I'd constantly see couples together laughing, looking into each others eyes and smiling, or even just holding hands. That's when I didn't feel strong anymore. My heart started to ache every day and I felt like breaking down. It even happens when I'm in Chicago. I'm always going to see a couple and wish you were here with me. It sucks, Kelley. It sucks so much that I can't be with the person I love so much. I just- I just think we have some decisions to make." 

 

     Kelley looked like a deer in headlights. "Wh- what do you mean?"

 

     "I'm going to go stay at a hotel. We both need to think these things out, okay?" 

 

     Kelley looked as if she wanted to cry, but the tears couldn't reach her eyes. She watched Christen carefully place her things into her suitcase and head for the bedroom door. 

 

     Just as Christen was about the cross through the doorframe, Kelley called out, "Wait!" Christen slowly turned around. "Christen, don't go. We'll talk it out in the morning. Just please stay. I love you." 

 

     Christen so desperately wanted to run and jump back into bed with her, but she knew what was for the best. "Goodnight, Kelley." And with that, she was gone. 

 

     That was the last time Christen ever heard those three words leave Kelley's lips. And she knew. 

* * *

 

_I used to recognize myself_

_It's funny how reflections change_

_When we're becoming something else_

_I think it's time to walk away_

 

**from: Kelley O'Hara _kohara@gmail.com_**

**to: Christen Press _christen_press23@verizon.net_**

**date: Tues, Dec 29, 2015 at 4:56 pm**

**subject: Checking in :)**

_Today's Tuesday so it's only fitting that I send you a sucky email on an even suckier day._

_It's gotten to a point where I don't feel anything for you anymore. I still love you, but I still hate you. I guess those feelings are doing a pretty good job of balancing each other out. I know I still care about you, though. It's kinda hard to say how I really feel lol. Everything I feel is just so blurry._

_We haven't spoken in 148 days (but who's counting, right?). Although it's taken me this long to realize it, I know now that it was never my fault. Falling for you was never a choice, but cutting me out was yours, so I won't apologize for the way we are now. I'm just sorta numb to you at this stage of the game. I'm not mad or vengeful or bitter. I'm just really disappointed with the way we turned out. We both turned into people I'd never thought we'd be._

_So this is it now._

_I hope you're so, so incredibly happy._

_Have a Happy New Year, and I'll see you in Los Angeles._

_-Kelley_

 

**from: Christen Press _christen_press23@verizon.net_**

**to: Kelley O'Hara _kohara@gmail.com_**

**date: Tues, Dec 29, 2015 at 9:42 pm**

**to: Kelley O'Hara _kohara@gmail.com_**

**subject: RE: Checking In :)**

     _Hey Kell,_

_Might I just start off by saying that I know I told you that going to Sweden was the hardest thing I've ever done. I would like to change my answer. These past 148 days were the hardest thing I've ever gone through. Now, you may be thinking that Sweden is now demoted to #2 on that list. Nope. It's been bumped down to #3. The second hardest thing I've ever done was break up with someone who I was still completely in love with. You can continue to love someone even after you've hurt them, but you know deep down inside that that it won't ever be the same again._

_With that being said, I'm sorry and I'm scared. I'm scared that you'll see right through this email. I'm scared that I ruined your chances of falling in love again. But even more than that, I'm afraid you'll move on._

_I don't want you to date other people. It may not be enough for you, but I'm trying here. I don't want us dating other people unless it's each other. I'm scared as hell to want you, Kelley. Yet here I am wanting you anyway. And fear means I have something to lose, right? And I don't want to lose you._

_Think about it, or not. It's entirely up to you._

_I'll see you at camp. Happy New Year :)_

_From, Christen_

_PS, I don't care what happened 148 days ago. We aren't over._

 

    As Christen reread the last line of her email for a fifth time, she was content with her reply to Kelley. And she knew. 

 

 


End file.
